Rushing from a endless list of errands (ok, one of them was to get my nails done, but come on, I was WAY overdue) to pick up the kids from their first day of summer camp, I came upon an incredibly slow moving car. Of course, when rushing to pick up the kids, imagining them waiting with anxious eyes and knots in their stomachs as they watch for my car, it always seems there's someone interminably slow in front of me. As I passed the offending driver, muttering "Vertical pedal on the right, friend. Use it.", I looked at him, ready to shoot him a look to say "Look here, if you can't do the speed limit, get out of the road because I will run you over like a pop can if you get in my way again." But then I saw him. And my expression melted.
The elderly gentleman was hunched over his steering wheel, mouth wide open as if in a scream, and his hair sticking straight up and swept back as if windblown in a topless convertible (he, too, was driving an SUV). I probably should have felt some degree of sympathy for him, but I busted out laughing. He looked terrified that he was traveling at the raging speed of 60 mph. Or perhaps genuinely afraid I would run him off the road. I wonder if the majority of people, once they reach a certain age, wear an expression of perpetual fear? Or is it just my presence?
I know when I'm driving my mother around, she is scared out of her mind. She doesn't quite look like the road is going to jump out and swallow her whole after beating her with its concrete barriers, but she certainly doesn't look comfortable (yet another reason I'm re-evaluating the wisdom in getting her cataracts removed). My dad might look frozen in fear in my passenger seat, but I can't tell because he insists on sitting in the backseat where he can torment Ethan and make me instantly go gray. I can say, however, that he is not thrilled with my driving or my choice in the paths to get to my destination.
Have they always been this way? I honestly don't remember. Will I become that way? I think we all know the answer to that--YES. Yes, because we all know God is freaking hilarious and I have it coming to me.
