Dreaded anticipation

Do you ever have those moments of anticipated dread, or dreaded anticipation?  You know the feeling--when you know something has to happen, but you don't want it to happen.  At least not on your watch, but if you're the only one on watch, you're it.  And as bad as it is, if it doesn't happen, the consequences would be far worse.

So, you try your best to prepare.  And you wait.  With tremendous dread.  At the same time, you worry that it won't come, and then what?  Ugh, you don't even want to consider the alternative.  You have this tightness in your chest as your worry when and if it'll come, yet not thrilled that it's coming.  Your chest gets tight, your stomach knots up, and you even feel a little nauseous as you wait.  And when it does come, those feelings wash over you all over again.  They don't call those wrinkles on your forehead "worry lines" for nothing.

This happens in our family every single day.  During the week, the concern is not just if it's going to come, but where?  At home?  In public?  On the weekends, it's compounded because now it's not just me that has ants crawling in my brain as I wonder when and if it'll come; Sam is right there with me.

Then it happens.  It washes over everything like a tsunami.

Ethan poops.