In the Vietnamese culture, there is a very strict hierarchy that commands de facto respect. Without delving into the details and caveats, the main thing is strict respect to all your elders, and that includes all figures of authority. Consequently, growing up, I viewed my elders with awe and almost as superhuman, possessing of knowledge and unseen powers I could only hope to attain with age.
I also became terrified of members of law enforcement, the military, and anyone in authority—my principals, managers, etc. It took time for me to compromise that all of them are also human, all dealing with their own issues, all trying to do better, be better. That is when I made a concerted effort to talk to everyone, thank everyone for their service, not view anyone as better than anyone else, regardless of their station in life.
I didn’t want my kids to grow up with my disillusions. Yes, of course I want them to respect their elders, but also to remember they are humans deserving of compassion, grace, and friendship. Likewise, I want their friends to feel comfortable with talking to us, but also treat us with respect. It is with great joy that I can report that their friends have been raised so well, as they all fulfill my expectations!
And then…there’s the possibility of a snow day, a possible day of school getting canceled, a possible extended weekend. This is when all sense dissolves, and lunacy takes the wheel. At one point, the friends decided to sidestep my kid, and harass me directly to cancel school.
Let me be clear: I do not have the authority to cancel school. I have, in fact, told these friends various things, such as “you are too dumb to miss anymore school” and “I will use a hairdryer to clear the streets so you can go to school”. You would think that would deter or diminish their efforts. Nope.
What I never dreamed, however, is that my own kid would email a demand TO THE SUPERINTENDENT. This is a direct quote:
Subject: You Will Cancel School
Well you know me as Anh Nguyens son but my friends are sitting here in seminar trying to conjure a spell to cancel school tomorrow. Have an awesome day!
Love,
Ethan David Sul
Between the audacity of the message and the poor grammar, I simultaneously laughed and was horrified! I promptly advised him to seek alternative lodging for a few days. I could not deny my inner pride that he felt comfortable enough to actually email our superintendent, nor could I deny equal pride in his sense of humor. I am definitely relieved and thankful our superintendent has such a great sense of humor, as well. That being said, I’m bracing myself for spending an extra year in high school with this kid, because he may be the one to reverse the “No Child Left Behind” policy. God bless, I love this kid.
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